August 7, 2016 -- Despite his apparent decades-long eligibility, US presidential candidate Donald Trump has never filed for moral bankruptcy. The Department of Fukiu investigated the matter following tips from anonymous sources that may or may not exist, including attorneys familiar with moral bankruptcy law.
It’s no secret that Trump has dabbled with financial bankruptcy. In fact, an August 2015 CNN Money article reports that “no major U.S. company has filed for Chapter 11 more than Trump's casino empire in the last 30 years.” But moral bankruptcy is uncharted territory for the businessman.
A moral bankruptcy lawyer explained, “With financial bankruptcy Trump can make excuses that your average American will believe. We aren’t all billionaires, so we don’t feel qualified to judge. But with moral bankruptcy, we can’t brush off his condition so easily.”
For instance, having declared moral bankruptcy, Trump might feel less comfortable announcing that he could shoot somebody dead on Fifth Avenue without penalty.
Sources note that moral bankruptcy is “sticky,” sometimes staying with the individual for a generation or more. “With financial bankruptcy you might have bad credit for 10 years. But with moral bankruptcy, people tell their kids. It becomes a legacy. The situation wouldn’t work for Trump; his name is too valuable to his ego.”
Today’s news from the Department of Fukiu may bring some satisfaction to media hard-set on obtaining Trump paperwork. The candidate’s tax returns dominated early morning headlines yesterday when it seemed that a document leak was imminent. Speaking on the late night HBO show Real Time with Bill Maher Friday, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange indicated that his organization was working to obtain Trump’s tax returns. By Saturday morning WikiLeaks was shrugging off the claim, stating via Twitter that Assange’s comment was made in jest.