Lyrics Inspired by Paul Simon and Donald Trump Donald Trump frequently inspires fukiu. He's also inspired this catchy parody of "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover." Thanks to Facebook fans who contributed new lines! We hope to incorporate your suggestions soon. "50 Ways to Leave Your Campaign"
The problem is that you’re unfit, as we all can see The answer is easy if you take it logically I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to leave your campaign With some campaigns I’m not inspired to intrude But I see that reality’s being misconstrued And I don’t want America getting screwed There must be fifty ways to leave your campaign Fifty ways to leave your campaign Just slip out the back, hack Find a new con, Don You don't need to be coy, boy Just set yourself free Hop under a bus, wuss We don't need to discuss much Spare us the sleaze, please Just set yourself free It grieves me to see my grandma’s on your train I wish there was something I could do to make her hear again And then she too would appreciate if I’d explain About the fifty ways I say, now you and Putin sleep on it tonight And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light Go now and dream of ways to take your tiny hands aflight There must be fifty ways to leave your campaign Fifty ways to leave your campaign Avoid the debate, mate Make a new plan, man Choke on Mexican food, dude Just set yourself free Just slip out the back, hack Find a new con, Don You don't need to be coy, boy Just set yourself free Hop under a bus, wuss We don't need to discuss much Spare us the sleaze, please Just set us all free August 7, 2016 -- Despite his apparent decades-long eligibility, US presidential candidate Donald Trump has never filed for moral bankruptcy. The Department of Fukiu investigated the matter following tips from anonymous sources that may or may not exist, including attorneys familiar with moral bankruptcy law.
It’s no secret that Trump has dabbled with financial bankruptcy. In fact, an August 2015 CNN Money article reports that “no major U.S. company has filed for Chapter 11 more than Trump's casino empire in the last 30 years.” But moral bankruptcy is uncharted territory for the businessman. A moral bankruptcy lawyer explained, “With financial bankruptcy Trump can make excuses that your average American will believe. We aren’t all billionaires, so we don’t feel qualified to judge. But with moral bankruptcy, we can’t brush off his condition so easily.” For instance, having declared moral bankruptcy, Trump might feel less comfortable announcing that he could shoot somebody dead on Fifth Avenue without penalty. Sources note that moral bankruptcy is “sticky,” sometimes staying with the individual for a generation or more. “With financial bankruptcy you might have bad credit for 10 years. But with moral bankruptcy, people tell their kids. It becomes a legacy. The situation wouldn’t work for Trump; his name is too valuable to his ego.” Today’s news from the Department of Fukiu may bring some satisfaction to media hard-set on obtaining Trump paperwork. The candidate’s tax returns dominated early morning headlines yesterday when it seemed that a document leak was imminent. Speaking on the late night HBO show Real Time with Bill Maher Friday, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange indicated that his organization was working to obtain Trump’s tax returns. By Saturday morning WikiLeaks was shrugging off the claim, stating via Twitter that Assange’s comment was made in jest. |
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